I have a thick notebook-full of rants against traditional fathers in general, but for this post I will focus on 1) Filipino dads who are either older millennials or Gen X-ers; 2) Their brand of dad humour.
Now that all the warm and fuzzy Father’s Day social media greetings are already out of the way, let me share my thoughts about typical Filipino cool dads.
Filipino cool dads think their generation is superior, the true OGs, posting links to articles about how cool Gen X-ers or older millennials are, when in fact they are as bad or maybe even worse than boomers. You see, they know how to navigate the internet better than boomers. They’re supposedly better informed, right? Yet they still share the boomers’ ignorance when it comes to racism, sexism, and all the -isms in general. They pepper their dad jokes with slurs and insults like “bakla” (gay – or f*gg*t, depending on the usage); “negro/negra” (if someone’s dark-skinned, thus automatically ugly for them); “bombay” or “5-6” (derogatory terms referring to Sikhs living in the Philippines); “mabahong Muslim” (stinky Muslims); and “mukha kang Badjao! (you look like a Badjao…”Badjaos” are indigenous Filipinos and if someone jokes/insults/calls you this, it means they think you’re being uncouth or looking dirty)” …to name a few (of the hundreds of slurs). If you call them out for this, they will shame you for being “uncool,” they’ll say “Your generation is a bunch of weaklings, you can’t take a joke!” I’ve even been called an old hag or an old spinster for not digging these “cool dad jokes.”
Ever wonder why Duterte remains so popular, despite all his rape jokes and derogatory comments against women? Look no further than the Filipino cool dad.
Filipino cool dads love, love, love to assert their masculinity. They do this by their countless of “cool” sexist jokes or making sexual jokes about other women, sometimes in front of their daughters AND their wives. They do this in front of their sons, to set a “good example” so that they won’t grow up to be gay (oh, god forbid if one of their sons turn out to be gay). They think of themselves as tough men who would kill anyone who harms, harasses or, worse, rape their daughters. Yet they are contributing to the rape culture in their generation, and in the generations to come. I’ve talked to some of them before, explained why this is wrong, and explained what rape culture is, and they just shut me off and accused me of calling them rapists. Ever wonder why Duterte remains so popular, despite all his rape jokes and derogatory comments against women? Look no further than the Filipino cool dad (regardless if they support him or are against him – they are all THE SAME).
Filipino cool dads think they’re cool because they have gay friends, too. But they treat them like punchlines. As mentioned above, it’s their biggest fear to have one of their sons to come out as gay. “But I’m not homophobic because I have gay friends!” And then when they’re asked to do things that are traditionally women’s tasks, they will snap back “Ayoko nga, anong akala mo sa akin, bakla?? (I’m not gonna do that, do you think I’m gay??)” Or when they see their sons crying or acting “less masculine” they’d scoff at them “Itigil mo ‘yan! Para kang bakla! (Stop that! You’re acting like a fa**ot!)”
Now, you might think “Rhea, attacking them is not helpful…you should educate them!” Believe me, I have tried SEVERAL times, and I’ve been called names for doing so. Now, I’ve come to accept that they can never change. And all I can do is insult them and let them feel what others feel when they’re dishing out their “cool” dad jokes.
Happy Father’s Day! 👩🏾🎤